The Secret to Self Love

Here is a speech I wrote about “The Secret to Self Love” ( it’s written as I would say it, thats why it’s a tad bit weird )

Have you ever thought why can’t  I be better? Why am I so bad? If you have then you might want to listen up, and even if you haven’t I think you’ll still learn a lot. The truth is, when we think about ourselves and why we can’t be better we are just self pitying. Now I know that answer might anger you because it angers me, especially when I’m upset and people point that out. But, we can fix it so instead of self pitying we self-empower. 

One way we can fix it is by  promoting good self love. When you first hear me say the word self love you're probably thinking, that's so cheesy, and come on self love? You’ve got to be kidding me. But the truth is, having good self love means literally loving yourself and who you are  When you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself. You start to go down a hole and get depressed which leaves your body more vulnerable to diseases. Low self esteem can also lead to chronic stress ( I love me NP) With higher self-esteem, We can better deal with things that the world throws at us. ( Self esteem NP )  A study found that people with higher self esteem deal better with disappointments and are better problem solvers. Now why would I care? I’m just some 8th grade nobody in a whole world of people. I care because I believe that when we feel good about ourselves we are better people because we care, and the world needs good people. 

Okay, but what is self esteem and self love? Well, the answer isn’t all that simple. Self esteem is confidence in one’s own abilities, and self respect. There are also two levels of self-esteem. There is surface self esteem, which is your conscious opinion of yourself. It’s dependent on your environment and it’s subject to daily fluctuation. The second level is the secret self esteem of your subconscious. This type of self-esteem develops at an early age. (Flora NP) And finally, self love is a regard for one’s well being and happiness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time, just a care for your happiness. 

If we want to know how to achieve better self esteem and self love, not only do we have to know what it is, but we also have to connect it to bigger things like mental health, body image, social media, the whole enchilada. Right now, we see one in five teens between the ages of twelve and eighteen experiencing mental health issues. But what if we could just wipe that all away, get rid of it completely? Imagine a world where only one in fifty kids struggles with mental health. This world could be a reality if more kids were taught to love themselves. Before we learn to love ourselves we have to understand…

Why is it so hard for us to love ourselves? “Because when women evaluate their physical attractiveness they compare themselves with an idealized standard of beauty such as a fashion model” says Richard Robins a professor of Psych at U.C davis. This means that we compare ourselves to a “standard” that we think is perfect but the truth is there is no perfect. The “perfect look” is different across different people. For example, An athlete’s “perfect look” would be different from a models. ( Flora NP )

How do we  see the bigger picture to solve this problem? Well, here are 5 steps to empower yourself. Step #1, don’t forget about your inner beauty, it’s not always looks that count, in life in fact you will have to rely on your brain , skills and what you are learning here in school more than your looks. 

Step #2, build on what you're good at or what you take pride in. For example, I may not be good at basketball or any ball sports for that matter, but I am a good fencer. 

Step #3 silence your inner critic. Yes, that scary voice in your head that says “no! Don’t do that!” that constantly contradicts yourself “well maybe I shouldn’t because” or “but what if…” silence those what ifs, and maybe I shouldn't(s), and don’t overthink things, that way you can be more productive, optimistic and empowered. 

Step #4 set goals to keep you going, but you have to be careful in the way that you do it. I was doing the What Do I Still Want To Know project a couple weeks back in History and I told myself I’m going to get my notetaking and my picture done. Long story short I got it done, but I had a bunch of extra time and I was just sitting there because I kind of lost motivation. I had no idea what to do after I had achieved this huge goal. The best way to set goals to empower yourself is to set a set of goals, like I’m gonna finish my note taking, then my picture, and then my works cited so you always have something next to keep you going. 

Step #5, don’t expect the impossible. Expecting the impossible, well, makes things impossible. It makes things impossible to finish, because there is no end. ( How Can I Improve My self-esteem? NP) Some of the short term effects of these steps is being able to be more productive and be in a better head space and feeling good. Some long term effects are better relationships with your body, healthier life, you may even live longer because you have higher self esteem and more endorphins. 

Have you ever thought why can’t  I be better? Why am I so bad? Well I have, and when I do, I reach for the five steps to empower yourself. Inner beauty, pride in things we do, silencing inner critics, setting goals and not expecting the impossible. The one that works for me the most is taking pride in things we do.  I do that, I take pride in all the things I am great at, all my hobbies, interests, and passions. And I feel great. I implore you to whenever you feel even just a tad bit negative towards yourself to find the step that works for you, and love yourself.  “Never have I craved a love so deeply as the love of myself” - H.M, Thank you. 

Works Cited

Flora, Carlin. "The Beguiling Truth about Beauty." Psychology Today, John Thomas, 1 May 2006, www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200605/the-beguiling-truth-about-beauty. Accessed 20 Sept. 2006.

"How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?" SIRS Discoverer, 16 May 2002, explore.proquest.com/sirsdiscoverer/document/2265362250?accountid=193241.<img src="https://c.pxhere.com/photos/af/ce/father's_day_heart_love_passion_solidarity_fall_in_love_feeling_hearts-1380746.jpg!d" srcset="https://c.pxhere.com/photos/af/ce/father's_day_heart_love_passion_solidarity_fall_in_love_feeling_hearts-1380746.jpg!d" alt="hand, love, heart, finger, romance, arm, muscle, holding hands, human body, hands, hearts, passion, solidarity, organ, emotion, feeling, valentine's day, interaction, fall in love, sense, father's day, Free Images In PxHere">

"Mental Health." Gale Opposing Viewpoints Online Collection, Gale, 2021. Gale in Context: Opposing Viewpoints, link.gale.com/apps/doc/KAAXSD693182940/OVIC?u=pmslibrary&sid=bookmark-OVIC&xid=33caddd9. Accessed 20 Jan. 2022.

"Self-Esteem." Current Issues: Macmillian Social Science Library, Macmillan Reference USA, 2003. Gale in Context: Opposing Viewpoints, link.gale.com/apps/doc/EJ3011400220/OVIC?u=pmslibrary&sid=bookmark-OVIC&xid=676be067. Accessed 20 Jan. 2022. 

 Valentine, Valca. "I Love Me: As Self-Esteem Goes Up, Your Stress May Go down." Charlotte Observer, 29 Apr. 1990. SIRS Issues Researcher, explore.proquest.com/sirsissuesresearcher/document/2267182017?accountid=193241.